We can only hope that living your life out loud implies it is true. Entertainers of sorts such as actors, professional athletes hell even yoga icons may live a life out loud but is it really them. Is it the truth? I embrace my teachers in life thus far who have bravely shared the truth. Sometimes it happens to be my daughters. I value hearing their version of the truth, from their innocent level. I want to be open and available to hear the truth always.
A little later in life than I wish, I stumbled across the work of Bryon Katie. In one of her books Katie questions the need for alcoholics to tell themselves they are in fact alcoholics for the rest of their lives as part of their treatment. Who would they be without their story? Perhaps just another man or woman, a husband or wife, a friend or family member that is socially responsible for their actions? Just when do you get rid of the recovery addict story or do you?
Now the drama of supporting an alcoholic through his various detoxification, attempts at moderation and cleansing stents seemed like nothing. They no longer hurt me. I no longer felt used. The story, his story, was for him to love, hate, tell or hide. Ah, what a relief! I can free my brain from rewinding this terrible movie.
That’s not always the case when you gather with friends or family. They inquire with curiosity, “Just how bad was it?”
So here is the truth. It was enough. Enough that changes needed to be made. It was not horrible, it was not great and for goodness sake let’s not go down the road where you remind me it was meant to happen in my life to give me an appreciation for whatever fill in the blank thing you’d like to say. I already get it. If you’re curious and fishing with curiosity here’s the short version.
It sucked and I’m over it.
Remember your really trendy 80’s haircut? What keeps you from redoing that hair-do? Probably that your co-workers may think you’ve officially lost it and there’s better dos to be sporting these days?
That’s what I feel like when someone wants to hear about a transition that happened over six years ago. It feels like soooooooooooooo long ago and really now if I’ve moved on can’t you?
I suppose there’s something interesting about someone’s past but here’s a newly developed problem my 37 year-old, divorced, white, female with three daughters status has experienced. A man with a few less descriptive words, the once plain and simple, “single, male”, has baggage for not having baggage. See at least I’ve taken a whack at life, falling down and getting back up. I’ve added colorful experiences to my life. I went into this direction or that with full-fledged passion and intention. I didn’t half-ass my way through any of it. Changing my thoughts after 6 years or maybe just 6 months. Falling down and you bet getting right back up.
I write, speak and live the truth. If you don’t like that, don’t ask me questions about my personal life.
